Fresh from the desk of our "pastor," Fr. Edward Namiotka, comes this "bright idea. Here is another example of why we continue to fight to save St. Mary's. Over the past two years and, arguably, since the 1970s, more and more strange ideas in the name of "Catholicism" have been made, and so many have been suggested in the past two years by the Diocese of Camden. But never you fear! Rest confidently that this particular innovation is the brain power of a Sacred Heart High School administrator. Is it just a way of getting you to part with your cash, or is it a new-fangled spiritual practice? You be the judge. However, we wouldn't recommend you try this at home. Let us give you some background, first.

Father says in his Jan. 3 bulletin that since the light bulbs in St. Michael's Minotola need to be replaced, members of this parish ought to sponsor a light bulb ($25 a bulb). Apparently the labor cost of changing light bulbs is into the thousands. He calls this the "Guiding Light" project. In the interest of spirituality, he says that light bulbs are just like votive candles. Ya know, candles give light and so do light bulbs. Yeah, we see the similarity. We quote:

It is not that far removed from the practice that we have of lighting candles in a church in memory of someone. And these light bulbs should radiate in the church for a significantly longer amount of time than a candle--potentially a couple of years or more. [emphasis his]

However, from our point of view, as Fr. Namiotka has previously pointed out that nothing is permanent, including our churches, and that they are nothing more than just buildings, we're not sure we understand the point in making that sort of an investment. A light bulb that lasts two years? Gee wizz. All things are changing, right? As he pointed out a few bulletins back, our churches could get bombed out tomorrow just like the ones in Europe during World War II (or, alternatively, stolen by a bishop and his conspirators). Therefore we're not sure that kind of investment is warranted. A more practical approach might be for each of us to just bring our own flashlights to mass. Heck, that might be fun, like a camp out, but we digress. Father goes on, imploring us to think:

Think about it. Every time you enter the church you can look up and think of someone who shone like a light for you. Hopefully it will help you to remember them and to pray for them. [again, emphasis his]

Ummm, I could remember my loved one or I could go blind from staring into a lightbulb. Uh-huh!

Then he goes on to say, and we could not possibly make this up, that there are "three mouths to feed in our rectory household while the weekly collection has not increased proportionately." Ain't that cute? They're like hungry little kittens who've come scratching at our back doors or something. Remember to put out a bowl of chow!

Some of us have lost our jobs, are struggling during this recession, have families to feed, and don't own Rolex watches, nor do we have our auto insurance, rent or mortgage, gas, utilities, and other life expenses paid for us by our employers. No one shops for us, cooks our meals, or cleans our houses, either. To top it all off, they're threatening to steal our churches away from us, but that's not enough. They want more, more, more. Their mouths need feeding.

The pastor's hungry? Well cry me a river. We've made you pierogies, taken you out to eat, and had you over for dinner. Not enough? We'll set an extra place for you any night of the week at our dining room table. Come on over. Open invitation. Again, we've digressed from the light bulbs. Sorry.

We're supposed to mark our envelopes "Guiding Light" and bring our contributions, along with the names of our dear departed loved ones, to the rectory. In the spirit of the "Guiding Light" project, we have furthered the innovation. A natural extension of the prayer rock, we now have the prayer light bulb, intended to remind us to pray for our loved one.

Step 1: Select a bulb.