...Now with Twice the Vibrancy (and Still No Transfats)

Recently, St. Mary's reassessed its ministries and was delighted to find that we have not only increased our ministries but, in fact, have doubled them.  Not since the days of New Coke has something transformed itself so remarkably. 

Last month, at a birthday party for Fr. Romanowski and Leah, who share a September 2 birthday, we put many of our new ministries proudly on display.

First, our Celebration of Important Things Ministry conceived the idea.  They had already had a party for Fr. Romanowski the previous weekend (prior to his birthday), but they are a vibrant group and opted to have another party the weekend after his birthday.

The Outreach to the Bishop in Hopes to Convince Him to Stop his Dastardly Scheme Ministry sent invites to the Bishop and some of his friends at the Chancery.  Sadly, they did not attend, although Msgr. McGrath was kind enough to send his regrets.

Another new ministry, the Cake Delivery Ministry completed its second project of the year. 

Click here to see the first.

At the party, we also unveiled our new Cappuccino Ministry. This seems to be a staple of any vibrant parish.

Unfortunately, Charlotte burnt her finger while providing this ministry, which prompted a quick response from our Next-Best-Thing-to-Your-Mother Empathy Ministry

After a healthy dose of empathy, the First Aid Ministry (or in this case Second to Next-Best-Thing-to-Your-Mother Empathy Aid) sprung into action.

Charlotte's new at this, so our Cleanup Ministry was also involved.

This is just a sampling of the many new ministries we have introduced lately.  Some of our other new ministries include:

Ø      Picketing the Bishop Ministry

Ø      Sending Letters to Apostolic Nuncio, Etc. Ministry

Ø      Media Ministry

Ø      Website Ministry

Ø      Canon Law Appeal Ministry

Ø      Civil Law Ministry

Ø      Blogging Ministry

Ø      Fundraising for Save St. Mary's Ministry

Ø      Planning the Billboard Campaign Ministry (Coming Soon to Highways Near You) 

Ø      Planning the Vigil Campaign (ala Boston)

The ministries are so vibrant, it makes me wonder why we didn't start them years ago.  Oh, wait . . . that's right, BECAUSE NO ONE WAS TRYING TO STEAL, I MEAN CLOSE, OUR CHURCH BACK THEN! 

Not to go on about our ministries, but we also discovered from a recent Courier-Post propaganda piece that we already have many "ministries" that we didn't even know were ministries. Like the church in Richardson, TX, we also have a Bulletin Ministry.  And by the same ministry identification logic, we have a Bathroom Ministry (actually two - one for men and another for women).

We have a Warmth Ministry, although this only operates in the Winter.  In the Summer, we offer a Cooling Ministry.  We also have a Parking Ministry, which shares space with our Basketball Hoop Ministry.  I could really go on and on, but I don't like to brag - we're not perfect.  We don't have a labyrinth, after all, although we are thinking about a Corn Maze Ministry for next year. 

So stop by the New St. Mary's, a MegaVibrant SuperParish in the Diocese of Camden.

Editor's Note:  This blog entry was provided by our Sarcasm Ministry.  This new ministry will remain active throughout our Denial Stage of the Diocese of Camden's Four-Step Mourning Process.  If you don't like it, beware of the Anger Phase.

All photos copyright of St. Mary's PhotoMinistry.